Reflection

There’s something about the late night and the cold breeze that makes me start to ponder about life. Or maybe because it’s Christmas, and the new year’s oh so near. I haven’t talked much about this topic, maybe I’m not ready to face it yet, much more blog about it. But like I said, there’s something about the night that makes you start pondering. So here goes.

I started applying for jobs with the big banks rather early, I knew what I loved doing, I knew what I was good at doing, and I knew what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, the job market wasn’t looking so good. After the banks convert their interns, there really weren’t that many vacancies left. So I took a break from applications.

Then I met up with Sharon, someone who has so much certainty in what she wants to do after graduation. Unlike many of my friends, Sharon and I both haven’t gotten a job. But she wants to pursue something bigger – a business of her own. So naturally, given what I’ve been busy with in December, I start to wonder if this is the path I want to pursue too. It’s not a glamorous job, it’s so darn tiring and difficult, having to get your hands dirty in doing every single small thing. CEOs in big companies have staff under them to carry out tasks, but running your own small firm is difficult. Not only do you have to do everything yourself (of course I’m lucky, I have my sister who’s my partner so I’m not alone), but when things don’t go as well as you’d hoped (thankfully we haven’t had that yet), you don’t really have anyone else to lean on. You don’t have a guaranteed salary each month, you don’t know if 5 years down the road this business will still be around. So each day you try even harder, you envision the future, and plan for it.

Sure, it’s tiring, but I swear, it’s so darn fun. Watching the business grow, there’s a certain satisfaction that no entry level job can give. Ok, enough ranting for now. I leave myself with one thought (I’d say I leave you, but you won’t know what I’m referring to, sorry 😦 ) – the people I’ve read about, started on this road when they were  young, way younger than I am today. What my sister and I have today, was started 5 years ago when I was only 17. But growing up in Singapore, it was never something I thought would be this big today. I definitely didn’t think that I’d grow up to be a business owner. It was just pocket money. Did my environment shortchange me of 5 years? And now, where to, from here?

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